Wendsday 30 Sep 2009

Today is rainny. I took Dad to Mcdonald for breakfast around 8:00 am. He said Gary forgot help him get the medicine yesterday from Dr. Hunderson. The phamany at Walmart does not open utill 9:00 am so we decided to go home first. He wants get the medicine from cross-street-supermarkt (Dick's?) later after 10:00 am. I called him a couple of time to make sure he is not walking out when it's rainning. Finnaly he got it. So no worries! He sounds happy and always is polite to me, so far....

Monday, September 28, 2009

Sorry this is late.

I felt impressed to visit Dad on Sunday afternoon, September 27 just before heading to Sheryl's family for family dinner. He was very lonely today; but I hope I cheered him up. Dad called me hungry Monday morning, so I took him to McDonalds/Walmart. It's his favorite hangout.

Dad doesn't seem to be as negative with me as others; don't know why. I bought dad some packaged sausage McMuffins and told him that if he's ever craving some, he now has options to pop one in the microwave any time.

Dropped by Tuesday to pick up meals on wheels and place in fridge while Gary took him to the doctor.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Showed up at Dad's condo at about 10:00am. While there he showed me some article from the Ensign that, according to him, proved that his wife had been unfaithful to him with the likes of John Goddard and John Harmer. (What no John Wayne?) What a maroon...
Took him to McDonald's / Wal Mart where he ordered 3 Sausage McMuffins today.
He and I bought some item inside Wal Mart. At 11:30am took him to his (and my former) Urologist, Dr. David Henderson. (620 Medical Drive, Suite 300, Bountiful - 801-298-3247 - for further reference). Dr. Henderson basically said that Dad was doing okay and gave him a couple new prescriptions. (I also had a visit with Dr. Henderson since he was the doctor who performer my first 4 cancer surgeries before I transfered to Huntsman).
After the doctor's appointment Dad wanted to go to the bank so I drove him to Zions Bank in Bountiful and then took him home. The Meals-On-Wheels was waiting for him.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Dad called me about 7:15 a.m. He doesn't understand why I can't get there in 10 minutes like Todd and Gary. He said he was going to buy a bicycle or a motor scooter so he doesn't have to wait for us. I said, "OK." I arrived about 8:15 a.m. and we did the usual drill- McDonalds, bought groceries and then back to the Condo, I cleaned up a bit, we read scriptures and then visited for a while. He asked me if he was really sealed to Mom and I said, "of course you are!!" He said, "When can I see her again?" I told him when he passes onto the next life. He said, "Not 'til then, are you sure?" (by the way, last week, he asked me who my mom was in the middle of a conversation about his doctor's appointment. I replied, "It's Joan!" and he said, " Is that my wife?" "Yes, I said.") Some days, I wish Mom could just stop in and pay him a little visit.
I opted not to discuss any of the insurance issues or medical issues. I didn't want to upset him. He was really missing mom today.
One more thing: He said he was going to cancel the Meals on Wheels because they didn't give him enough food!? I hope he doesn't, but it's up to him.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Dad called me this morning around 8:30 A.M. hungry so he and I went to McDonalds. We talked about his homeowner's policy and his relationship with State Farm etc. etc. Dad seems to prefer to leave his appt. unlocked when he goes out. So, I just lock the door for him.

He told me he keeps his condo open when he leaves because "he has his reasons." I talked to Dad about someday selling our house; him selling his condo and having him move in with Sheryl and I as one of many options.

We'll see how things develop.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Harold called a little after 7 AM to make sure I was coming today. I told him that I was and that I had made an appointment with his insurance agent at 9:30 to discuss his lapsed homeowner's policy. He went ballistic! He was upset that I would make an appointment for him without his permission. When I got there he had calmed down and I canceled the appointment! I took him to breakfast at Walmart and bought a couple of items for his house. As we continued to discuss the insurance issue he agreed to have me call another agent. Jim Kaertz, a Farmers agent, will visit him today or tomorow and hopefully resolve the issue. We talked about insurance on his car at length and he agreed it was better to just sell the car! We could not find the car title in his office so we went to the DMV and applied for a duplicate title which should be sent to his home within the week. I called Steve Fail (a neighbor who gave us the valuation of the car and a car dealer) to get the logisitics set. Steve will pick up the car with dealer plates (no need to get insurance), detail it then sell it at next week's auction. We can get the signed title to him next week. Hopefully this will be the final resolution to the car issue.
Harold was also mad about the doctor appointments that I had made for his tests. I told him Kathryn had made those appointments (turns out she had asked his permission first) and that he didn't have to go if he didn't want to. I did reaffirm that he is slightly anemic and that it probably is due to a small hemmoraging internally. I Googled "hematocrit" (the test he was 3 points low) and it explained that when the RDW was high and the MCV was normal, it probably meant the patient has an acute bleeding problem. His RDW is high and his MCV is normal so we do need to follow up on this but I did not want to press my luck after getting the two insurance issues resolved. He is not very motivated in part because I think he would really rather be in the next life right now.
We also went to the bank and cashed a check for $125.00.

Wednesday Morning

I took dad went to McDonald this morning. We had a nice talk while we were eating.

I told him that me and my parents bought some new flowers and put them on the mom’s grave last Saturday. he was very happy and asked me “have you ever see my wife before she died?”, I said to him with my BIG SMILE FACE : “If your wife died 2 years ago, then Yes, I did see her before she died because I married to your son over 5 years ” . He started laughing….”That’s right! That’s right!”

He does not need anything to buy at Wal-Mart so we went home.

(Lena wrote this)

Medical and Insurance Update

We received in the mail the results of Harold's bloodtest which has already been discussed. I will take these with me tomorrow to walk him through the numbers.
Second, Toby Gonzalez, Harold's State Farm insurance agent, has agreed to meet with Harold and I in the morning. His homeowner's is out of force again. The last check was received after the deadline so Toby has a refund check with him. Hopefully we can work out coverage, etc. and get the condo covered again. The car situation will be different. Don't know what to expect there but to adequately insure the car against theft, etc. will be a few hundred dollars.
If you have any ideas before we meet tomorrow that would be helpful.

Tuesday, September 22,2009

Picked up Dad and took him to his McDonald's at Wal Mart. Had a nice visit. He was looking forward to the Meals-on-Wheels coming today. He said he didn't need anything else so I took him home. He seemed pretty pleasant today.

Monday, September 21, 2009

I went to visit Dad Monday evening, Sep 21.

...pardon the copy, paste, and reconstruct of this post. Blogger wasn't exactly intuitive about my needing an invite to participate.

I took Dad yesterday to McDonalds (Walmart) to eat as all he had to eat today was a can of peaches. (I expressed our concern about his haphazard eating habits.) The meals on wheels folks didn't show up today; but Dad feels they should show up Tuesday.

Going back to Walmart/McDonalds: We ran into Luann and her son. We also ran into another gentleman from the North Canyon Stake that recognized Dad and struck up a conversation; but Dad didn't remember him.

At Walmart, we got Dad some soup, orange juice, and other needed groceries. I had a talk with Dad about the importance of his doctor's appt. He has agreed to look at that again; I just have to help him get over the Excedrin hurdle.

Dad's problem with the doctor's appt. is he kind of wants to accelerate his own mortality. With more time, I will try and get the doctor's appt. redone. Dad and I had a philosophical discussion about his perception of Mom's premature passing due to eating habits/health issues. Dad feels strongly that mom was culpable of that; and I asked Dad, well, if you're doing the same thing...He then stated that it's o.k. for him as an 84 year old to do that; but not o.k. for mom at 77 to do it.

Once Dad realized he painted himself into a corner, I dropped it. (But, he got the point.) I expressed my concern with him not eating enough and regularly. We'll see how meals on wheels does. Thanks Kathy for setting that up.

Dad and I read from the Ensign for FHE and spent some time together.

Saturday Morning

Called Dad at 7:30am Saturday morning to see if he was ready to go to breakfast. When I picked him shortly thereafter he very excited to tell me of a new' lady' he had just meet (maybe he said 'girl' and my subconscious blocked it out). And the good news, he said, is that she is married and, " she's really nice to me...". (I would think her being married and all would be somewhat of a stumbling block, at least initially). When I ask who this person was he said, he said, "The gal that cleans my house." That would be Paula, I said. (Please refer to Dennis' blog of this same date).

When I drove him to McDonald's in Centerville I tried to explain that Paula is a genuinely nice person and is just trying to be helpful - The kindness of strangers phenomenon (and that she is half his age and is already sealed to her husband).

During the McDonald's / WalWart breakfast I asked Dad about the pending colonoscopy and again he reiterated his position of not willing to go without Excedrin for a week prior to the procedure. As a side, I totally understand Dad's reluctance to stop taking the medicine that seems to be the only thing between him and an out-of-control headache. However, I also understand the physician's request because aspirin thins the blood too much during a medical procedure and makes it harder to control bleeding. (I've had to go without about 20 times since 2005).

When Dad said he would rather skip the colonoscopy than the Excedrin, I asked him if he understood the ramifications of what he was saying - Was he willing to put his life at risk over some pills. He said something to the effect that he was 84 years old and windowed and he was quite ready for the next life. Whether or not he'll remember this conversation, who knows...

He said he didn't need anything else that day. He said he was looking forward to Meals-On-Wheels to start next week. He also said he didn't need a ride to church in the morning because he wasn't going. When I asked him why he told me that he was suppose to speak in Sacrament Meeting and was going to bug-out so he didn't have to.
(That's my Dad...)

Gail The House Cleaner

Just got off the phone with Gail Gottfredson who cleans Harold's house every other week. She said they were talking about some LDS fiction books that he had heard of so she asked if he had a library card because they are available at the Farmington Library. He said no, so she took him to get a library card! She also is going to pick up the book today that he wants and take it to his home. Very nice lady. Harold also like her. She also is concerned that he is not using his cane. I told her we all suggest he use it but he thinks it makes him look older and gets in the way of other people! Maybe she will have more success convincing him than we have.

Doctors Appointment on Monday, Sept. 21

Todd, Dad's doctor's appointment is on Monday at 1:30 for a EGD. The address is 620 East Medical Drive, Bountiful. The phone number is 801-298-0057 This test is to check for a bleeding ulcer. I imagine they will go down through his throat with a mild sedative. Dad is making less sense with each conversation.

Ok, I just checked my e-mail and dad wouldn't allow the doctor's office to schedule the appointment because it meant going off of his Excedrin. (which by the way, he told us he wasn't taking any medication except his eye drops). I forwarded the e-mail onto you, Todd. I responded to the e-mail by telling them, we would call on Monday and reschedule. Would you mind doing that Todd? I couldn't set up the procedure because I didn't have his policy number etc.

September 18, 2009

Harold called twice last night. First time he said he had good and bad news. He told us about Dennis and Kathryn going to St. George for Thanksgiving. The story wasn't clear and we just said we'd discuss Thanksgiving plans later. Dennis called later and confirmed they are going to St. George and had invited Harold to go with them. Second call came at 10:00 pm. He wanted to get a copy of the pamphlet "Especially for Youth" for his talk in Sacrament meeting in a few weeks

Todd visited with Harold this afternoon. Todd got the pamphlet he wanted. He said his dad seemed really out of it today. He thought yesterday was Friday. He accused Todd of causing problems by saying Harold had issues with Dennis.

Harold woke up this morning (about 2:00 a.m.) with severe chest pains. Todd asked if he thought it was a heart attack. Harold said no, but he thought it might have been a stroke. Todd asked if he wanted to go to the doctor. Harold said no, he was fine now so Todd didn't press the issue. Todd will be calling this information to Dennis and Kathryn to see if it needs to be passed on to Dr. Lym (blood results received this morning).

Results of Blood Tests

Dr. Lym called us this morning to give us the results of Harold's blood tests last week. The only concern was that he has a mild case of anemia - about three points low. Dr. Lym suggested a couple of possible reasons; 1. A small bleeding ulcer in his stomach or 2. colon cancer. There are other possible reasons he said but these are the most likely. Kathryn will talk to Harold and set up appointments for an EGD (stomach scope) and a colonoscopy. Does anyone know if he has had a colonoscopy in the last five years? Hopefully he will remember if he has.

One More Item

Harold has been asked to speak in Church on September 27th! The topic is preparing to hear General Conference.

September 17, 2009

Harold wanted to go to his usual breakfast eatery so we went to Walmart. As we drove up Main Street I asked him if he had voted in the recent municipal elections? He said he wasn't registered to vote since he moved to Centerville. After breakfast, we went to the Davis County Court House and registered him! He should get a post card in the mail in the next couple of weeks to verify that he is indeed registered. We talked about his mission to New England, where he would want to travel (Denmark on a cruise!) and the possibility of flying to Texas to see his brothers. He said he didn't have enough money to do any of these! I told him he did! On the way home from the Court House he told me I was going the wrong way home (we were on Main Street which runs right by his house) so I just changed the subject. I reminded him that had an appointment at 12:30 with Jennifer Bryson with Meals on Wheels. I called after the appointment and everything is all set up to start receiving meals next week. Jennifer said she would call to set up an account to pay for the meals so Harold doesn't have to worry about it.

September 16- Wednesday

Lena and I are switching days this week so she can be with Gary today. When I arrived there about 9 am Dad had already eaten a bowl of cereal because he thought Lena had forgotten to come. I brought him some Oreo chocolate marshmallow peanut butter cookies! (that's a mouthful!) He popped those right in his mouth. Good sign! He talked about the pictures of mom at Fish Lake again. I cleaned up a little, threw away the Christmas tree in the office. We read scriptures for about an hour. I talked to him about taking a trip to see his brother, Grant. He said he is his closest friend, but he doesn't have any money to go see him. I assured him, he did. I talked to him about the meals on wheels, which he was fine with because he had used that program with his own mother. I talked to them this afternoon and they said they could start next Tuesday, September 22nd. It's only $3.00 donation per meal. They bring in one large nutritious balanced meal between 11:30 and 1:30 each day Monday through Friday. So, Dad could probably get lunch and dinner out it, if he is willing to reheat it in the microwave. They are going to his condo tomorrow at 12:30 to discuss with him his health issues and likes and dislikes with food. They already deliver to two other condos in his Complex.
This time I remembered to bring him his white shirts, however, I did notice he had other white shirts in his closet. I asked him why he didn't wear one of those on Sunday and he said they were dirty. Then I asked why didn't you let Dennis take them to the cleaners and he said they weren't dirty on Thursday!? But three days later they were too dirty to wear?
Dad is excited about going to the temple on Friday evening with his friend in the ward. Sunday evening, someone is picking him up to go to a Study Class. His spirits were fairly happy today. He appreciated the food from Sheryl!

September 15, 2009 - Car Insurance

I forgot to mention this in the previous blog. I found the car insurance policy notice last week. It expired in August. I called the agent (Toby Gonzales) on Monday. He suggested we keep comprehensive coverage only on the car (especially if it's outside). This would be about $67.00 every six months. The problem is the agent cannot change coverage because the policy has lapsed. If we make 1/2 of the six month payment the policy can be reactivated and changed. They will send a refund check for the difference.

I talked to Harold about this and he refused to sign the check. He's ok having no coverage on the car. I'm fine with whatever everyone decides to do.

September 15, 2009

I made a tomato based hamburger/vegetable soup for dinner. Harold had 1 1\2 big bowls of it. We left what was left - he should be able to get 1 to 2 more meals out of it. I also brought him a small loaf of zucchini bread. I brought one last Monday that he seemed to enjoy.

Todd ran to Dick's Market and got 2 half gallons of milk. All his milk was old - he did have one dated 9/13/09 which he drank with dinner. I went through the fridge and threw out a few things that were growing mold.

Harold seemed to be in good spirits last night. Todd told his dad he needed to start considering the fact that he might one day need to go into a nursing home. This did NOT go over well. Todd stressed that this wasn't go to happen soon, but it might become a reality in the future.

September 14, 2009

Because I have medical procedures on Tuesday and Wednesday I traded Todd for this week. I pick up Dad at around 8:30 am. We looked at some pictures and he started to complain that his wife (I believe her name was Joan…) never liked to go fishing at Fish Lake (catchy name) with him. I told him that some people just don’t like to fish…

With that problem resolved I drove him to his favorite dining establishment, McDonald’s at WalMart. He was kind enough to give me directions to this particular WalMart (the one I’ve been coming to since it opened in 2003) ;o)

He ordered his usual 2 Sausage McMuffins and water. I asked him if he needed any groceries while we were here. He indicated he just needed one thing: a gallon of Sunny Delight (orange-colored liquid). I took him home and he seemed happy as a clam. I told him Todd and/or Sheryl would over on Tuesday evening.

September 13- Sunday

Today Dad was pretty upset with me. I forgot to give him his shirts that we picked up from the dry cleaners. I left them in my car when I took him into the house. He called my home looking for me and I wasn't home until late that night. I didn't listen to my messages until after church the next day, by then he had called three times each time yelling a little louder. He said he didn't go to church because of me. Dennis said there were other white shirts in his closet when he was there on Thursday. I apologized and told him I would bring the shirts to him during the week when I visit him next. Whew.

September 12- Saturday

I picked up Dad around 9:15 am for breakfast at McDonald's. He didn't need any groceries. He wanted a hair cut at his favorite barber shop which he was able to direct me. (it's located in the Super Target parking lot) off of Parrish Lane. After the hair cut we picked up his dry cleaning at Bountiful Family Cleaners on 500 West and around 300 South. I needed to pick up a few items at Costco, so he and I went together. (ironically, we ran into Gary!) He loves pushing the grocery cart around. After, we walked around the parking lot for about 10 minutes looking for my car, since I forgot where I parked!! My dementia was in rare form today!? I was a little rushed for time since I had to be to Tara's in Riverton by 1pm, so I didn't get a chance to wash the dishes or anything. I put a few photos around I found in his closet that I framed. I talked to him about Meals on Wheels. He said he would be fine with it if he didn't have to pay. He was in an extremely happy mood today. He was pretty tired when we arrived home. I asked him about the prescription Dr. Lym gave him for constipation and said he would get it later, so Todd or Sheryl, maybe on Monday. Apparently, it's something he can buy over the counter. The doctor wrote it up as a prescription so perhaps his insurance would cover it for him, but I think he would prefer buying it over the counter.

September 11, 2009

Todd & I visited Harold tonight. Took him to dinner (McDonald's at WalMart). He needed a few items (Milk of Magnesia, etc). I wrote out checks for his outstanding utilities and Amex bill and updated the checkbook. I have the car insurance policy statement. Do we need to contact the agent and cancel the policy? Harold said he didn't have any prescriptions to fill (see Dennis' post from yesterday) and that he didn't need cash. I put the items from the dish drain in the dishwasher and started it for him.

Todd asked if anyone was visiting him. He said "no" but then remembered Dennis took him to the doctor yesterday. He's upset Dennis is "pushing him" about everything. When Todd asked for specifics he couldn't come up with anything but the Senior Center activities.

Todd & I have talked about looking into Meals on Wheels or something similiar. We worry about his eating habits. Maybe they could bring in a late lunch/early dinner on some days. This could add some varity to his McDonald's favorites and help with getting some more nuturious meals.

Visit and Groceries - 9/2

9-2-2009(sent by email orginally)

I had a last minute meeting to attend in Utah yesterday and today so I had a chance to drop in on Dad.

Mikel and I drove up Tuesday night and spent a couple of hours with Dad.

He said that he needed groceries so we picked him up what he needed.

He seemed in good spirits but was quite irratic in what he spoke about. (The usual 40 year old home teaching woman etc etc) We joked about that Mikel's name was... Several times.

The house seemed clean and I noticed nothing of concern.

m

September 11, 2009 10:22 AM

Two more items!

1. Dr. Henderson's phone number is 298-3247
2. Harold says he has a study group the third Sunday of each month which would be Sept 20th at 7 PM. This would be a very good activity for him. I think the group is from his old Bountiful Ward. We will need to get some information for him to attend.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

I called Harold yesterday to remind him of his appointment today with Dr. Lym, a family practitioner. I told him he needed to fast from midnight until his appointment at 10:45 AM. When I picked him up this morning he said he had been fasting since I called yesterday! Next time I will call at night before a doctor's appointment!
He talked to the doctor about his constant battle with constipation - Dr. Lym gave him a Rx which he would not let me take him to get filled. He said he would take care of it. I don't know why he would not let me take him. The other item was a urinary problem that Dr. Lym referred to a Urologist that Harold had already seen. When Dr. Lym told him, Harold said he wanted to pick the doctor he would see. When we got home we looked through his phone book and found the doctor he wanted - Dr. David Henderson at Lakeview. I made an appointment for September 29th at 11:30. That is a Tuesday (Gary).
I painted the curb in the garage so that he would be able to see it better. I also took his white shirts to the cleaners. Kathryn will pick them up Saturday.
I should also mention that I asked Dr. Lym privately what signs we should be looking for to determine if Harold is entering the initial phases of Alzheimer's. These are the things he said to look for: 1. Change in personality, 2. Getting disoriented while driving, 3. Forgetting to eat, 4. Unable to keep his own checkbook and 5. Unable to purge old items from the refrigerator. (I am really suprised I could remember all five!) When I told Dr. Lym that he is doing all these things he gave me a packet of materials for us to read about Alzheimer's and some sample medication. I didn't give Harold the medication because he still denies having any memory problems.
I forgot to mention that we went to Crown Burgers because he said he was starved. No kidding, after fasting for 24 hours. When I left, he thanked me for taking him to the Dr. and for lunch.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Tues. 9/8/09
Gary called and said he had a bad weekend with his migraines (even spent an evening in the ER) and asked if I could take his place today. Dad was a little upset when I arrived, but was calmer during his McDonald run. He said our visits weren't working because no one was coming. I reminded him of the people that had come the last couple of days, and then he remembered. We had a pleasant visit and then purchased some food items. I think it's best if we buy food items that he doesn't have to prepare in any way, just take out of the box and eat. He was excited about two new t-shirts I bought him. He picked them out and they were only $5.00 each. Got to love Wal-Mart! He said he needed t-shirts because his other shirts were too hot. He also bought bananas, OJ, granola bars, mini cupcakes and twinkies. (Not that healthy, but it's what he wanted) After Wal-Mart I took him home, did the dishes, and then we went to the hardware store to get batteries for his remote control in the Living Room. He was excited to watch TV in the Living Room. He talked a lot about the photos of mom that he thought were at Fish Lake. He wrote on the back of them they were taken at Fish Lake. He was so excited to think that she went to Fish Lake with him at one time! Whether it's true or not, it doesn't matter! He needs to believe she did! I hope she did!
We talked for a while, then before I left, I reminded him of his doctor's appointment on Thursday. About a month ago he asked me to make an appointment with a doctor to help him with his dementia. I promised him either me or Dennis would be there to take him. He had to fast 12 hours before the physical. He was pretty happy when I left.