Monday, January 25, 2010

I visited with Dad during lunch. I brought him a Wendy's hamburger and frosty. I had a nice chat with him. I followed up with the haircut facility at where he's staying (NOW who has dimensia) and their hours are Thursday and Friday; 1-5 PM only or by appt. I wrote that on the piece of paper Kathy placed on the refrigerator so that Dad knows when he can get a haircut.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Den and I visited Dad this evening. He was in pretty good spirits--said he had a feeling we would come see him today. We brought him some mail and his Ensign. I cleaned up some vomit that was on the counter. He said he was sick yesterday with an upset stomach, but that he felt better today. We visited about mom( and his other two wives!??) his mission experiences, visiting with Mike this week, his need for more food and the fact that he didn't attend church today because he didn't have a way to get there. We told him it was upstairs. He had plenty of food in his cupboard, but I told him we would go to the grocery store tomorrow. His food and med needs are : bread, milk, cereal and Milk of Magnesia. (I think you all know that!)

Phone call Jan 21, 2010

I talked to Dad for a while yesterday. He sounds like Ok and polite. I told him about Gary's death certificate as well. Probobly because i am the "in-law" so he could "behive himself " better.

Barnes Bank was taken over by the FDIC Tuesday so we moved the contents of Harold's safe depoit box to Frontier Bank in Midvale.

Week of January 11-17, 2010

Rough week! Dad was in a bad mood most of the time I was with him. Monday when I was there,I brought him the rest of the stuff from his Condo and I told him I needed to make a deposit in his account because we closed on his Condo. He gave me his whole checkbook instead of just a deposit slip. The next day he called and said someone had stolen his checkbook. I told him, I had it and would be bringing it back today along with a three ring binder and paper that he asked me to buy. Wednesday, when we visited, my daughters witnessed him yelling at me because he said I wrote a whole bunch of checks from his check book. I told him, I didn't write any! Just made a deposit! I told him that was Sheryl's handwriting and that she had been diligently keeping his checkbook since Mom died. He continued to complain and said he was moving because his Olympus Ranch was too expensive!! Pleasant! Dennis went to his place the next day and showed him step by step how he is actually saving money living there. He calmed down. He told Dennis he needed me to buy him some bread because Dennis threw his bread away due to the fact that it was moldy. I couldn't get to it that day. The next morning he called me about 7:30am and yelled at me again. He said "What's a man suppose to do when he is starving to death, and he doesn't have a car to go to the store!!?" I said, "You should go to the Dining Room, if you're not too lazy and feed yourself. They feed you three meals a day and snacks 24/7. " He continued to yell and I finally hung up on him. A few hours later, I took him his bread and he apologized. He asked what could he do to help me because he knows I am so busy. I said, "You can help me by not complaining and showing a little bit of gratitude." "We are all doing the best we can." I called him Sunday morning and reminded him to go to church. He had forgotten again. Things of concern: he is not showering very often or wearing clean clothes. I tried to tell him to wear clean garments everyday. He has plenty. He said, he's too lazy to change garments. Since before Christmas, he only had two pair of garments in the laundry basket. I spoke with him about personal hygiene a little. I'm certain it fell on deaf ears. He still can't recognize Mom in her photos.

Monday, January 18 2010

Sheryl and I will visit Dad today at 5PM. Dad called me this morning needing these items:

1. New plug for the bathroom sink in the bathroom because it leaks
2. Needs Milk of Magnesia (big size), milk, and bread from Walmart

Dad was a little put out when I told him that I would get these items for him after work. He wants them now. He's getting as little grouchy with stuff I guess. He told me that he no longer wants to lead the singing in church; doesn't want to mess with that kinda stuff. Oh well. More later.

Today when I went to visit Harold, he was having lunch with three women and talking up a storm! He was in really good spirits! He gave me the key to his room (the room was unlocked) and I did the dishes and cleaned up while he finished eating. When he got back to the room he wanted to tell me that he wanted to move because it cost too much to live there. He had seen the entries in the checkbook and was not happy. I explained to him that he no longer paid utilities, condo fees, car expenses, gas, car or home insurance, his food budget was way down and he would be receiving almost $1,000.00 per month from the sale of his condo. I am not sure he is convinced but at least he stopped pressing the issue. Maybe we should take the checkbook register out of his checkbook and put a blank one back in!!?? He had done his own wash earlier that morning. He complained about his lack of continence with his urination but did not want to see his Urologist. He said he doesn't ever help him.

Week of January 3,2009 to January 9, 2009

We've decided to try something new with Dad. There's a little bit of "burn out" happening and we need to pace ourselves for the long term. We've decided to go to a "week program." Kathryn and Dennis will take one week, Todd and I will take the next, and so on and so on... We are also hoping that fewer visits will encourage Dad to start socializing more with the other residences. Of course this might not happen but we can hope!

This was our week. Todd and I visited on Monday. Dad had called and said there was something important he needed to talk to us about. He wanted our confirmation that the woman in the swimsuit picture in his bedroom was Joan. He simply can't recognize her in that picture. Other pictures in the room he had no problem with. Todd assured him that was Joan. Dad was hungry for a hamburger so we went to Wendy's for dinner. When we came back I washed his dishes and balanced the checkbook. Todd & Harold started watching the football game.

We called every day during the week. Wednesday he said he needed more Excedrin from CostCo. As luck would have it I was headed there that evening so I asked if I could just pick it up and bring it to him later. He said sure. We decided to visit again on Friday. Dad need more milk and some cash ($150.00). Again I asked if I could just bring it since we wouldn't get there until after 5:00p.m. He was ok with that. I meet Todd there and we visited for just a few minutes. Todd is still trying to get rid of the cold he got the week of Christmas and he was exhausted. Dad kicked us out after a few minutes and told Todd to go home and get some sleep.

Dad seemed pretty with it this week - at least during our talks and visits except for his short term memory. He keeps telling Todd that we (Todd & I) don't return his calls and that Todd doesn't visit that often.

It is now official - Dad's Condo is sold and closed! Also, Kathryn and Sheryl found two insurance policies for a pre-arranged funeral plan when they were going through all the files. It appears Joan paid for these policies in April 2007 when we were getting their plans in order and also because Harold has never mentioned them. We will now proceed to collect the benefit on Joan's policy.

Saturday, January 2, 2009

Den sold Dad's condo to a newly divorced young woman. She was happy to buy it!! But she wanted to move in right away, so Todd, Sheryl, Den and I, once again, moved all Dad's stuff out of the garage. It was much more involved than any of us thought. We had to go through three filing cabinets, which we no longer properly labeled. A myriad of journals and photo albums. Hundreds of videos, tools, kitchen stuff etc. For all the family members, look forward to receiving some photos and a few scrapbook items that mom saved. Do with them what you will. I am going through all the albums and dissecting them into families. I'll contact you or send them on.

Dad is in and out of lucidity. Complains most of the time.

1st Jan, 2010

1st Jan, 2010
We pick up Dad for BBQ today at our home. He acted very normal and remember all the names i showed him on remembergary.org. "This is my wife! this is Joan! She doesn't have to die..." He eat a lot of lamb and dumplings. He likes them. Right after the last swallow of the food he told me he is ready to go home.He still wants a car. I said you don't need a car. He goes yes, i do. yes, i do.He said he doesn't like what he is living right now because there are a lot repairing works need to be done.We asked him about church, and he could answer all the questions correctely.He looks and soulds pretty good today.