I will still try

I took my dad to emergency of Intermountain hospital Monday evening and foud out he had a stroke. I am still in the hospital since I am the one could help the communicate between my dad and Doctors/nurses. I don't know how long he has to stay... doctor said he is not stable enough yet...

I will still try to help dad Stout moving if Monday we could be discharged from the hospital......

I am trying to understand what the plan this was for me and why my life has to be changed like this since 12 Oct 2009, and what else bad things gonna happen in the future....

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Dennis called the movers and they will be at Dad's condo at 10 am. Den and I are planning on getting there at 8 am to get things packed. Sterlings flooring have measured the condo for new carpet. They will give us a bid next week. We understand from Todd, Dad was having a little bit of cold feet, but Todd assured him it will be the best thing for him.

I will be there next Monday to help moving

Hopeful dad will find the joy there....

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Dad, Todd, Sheryl, Dennis and myself all met today at 11:30 am at the Olympus Ranch, an Assisted Living facility in Murray (5600 South 900 East) that we thought Dad would love. Which, thank goodness, he did! He was pretty excited and he picked out the floor plan that he wants. He will be in apartment number 204. He was fine with the price and thoroughly thrilled about the accommodations, the food, (they fed us all lunch) the library, movie room, game room, exercise room, barber shop, the fact that they were playing John Denver music over the speakers and that church is only an hour and a half. He wants to move in ASAP, so we convinced him to wait until after Thanksgiving. The official move date will be Monday, November 30th! (Anybody that can help, would be greatly appreciated!) Den and I will call the movers and get going on replacing the carpet in his Condo so we can put it up for sale. Dennis found out today, Sat, Nov. 21, that there is only one other Condo for sale in his complex and it is already under contract. His new place is just a one bedroom, one bathroom small living room and kitchenette. He will be served three meals a day and snacks in between if he chooses. They offer a variety of daily activities, weekly outings to the grocery store, doctors apts., field trips etc. Time will tell if he is interested in any of those things. Everyone seemed very friendly, which was good for Dad.

Friday, November 14, 2009

Todd, Sheryl and I went scouting for Assisted Living Facilities for Dad. We narrowed our search down to areas between Sandy and North Salt Lake for obvious reasons. We learned much and we feel pretty confidant we found the one that will serve Dad best. We are still checking on a few other options. I called Dad and told him all about it and he was ready to pack his bags. The big question now is: should we move him in before and after we sell his condo? Sheryl and I are taking him on a tour of the place on Thursday. They have three floor plans for him to choose from. I don't have time to go into details now. Next post! Gotta run!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Dad was in a very amiable mood today! He even, wait for it, sang Christmas Carols in the car with me and said he felt the Christmas Spirit! He changed it up a bit and had sausage AND egg mcmuffins today. We shopped a bit at Walmart and then headed over to Costco. (It was a little sad for me at Costco because last time Dad and I were there, we ran into Gary.) Dad purchased a warm fleece jacket hoodie for himself. He was pretty excited about that!
He told me the cleaning lady, Gail had called and he told her not to come today, but I convinced him he needed his placed cleaned and disinfected because there is so much swine flu going around. I told him Todd, Sheryl and I were going on Friday to check out some Assisted Living places and he was excited about that. I assured him we would stay within his budget, but I wanted him to be someplace nice, that was referred to me by someone who has had personal experience with the facility.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Guess where I took Dad today everyone????? (O.K. sorry--gotta work on that sense of humor thing.)

On the way there, (you know where) I inquired about Assisted Living. Dad said, I've changed my mind about that. I was watching on TV where they said Assisted Living is up to $2500 per month. I can't afford that. I told Dad that Kathy and I were going to look at his particular budget, his needs, his situtation and recommend an option that meets his criteria; NOT general stats from the television.

He said o.k.

We got talking about us taking him around and he said, why don't I just buy a car and alleviate some of those concerns. I said, well Dad, there is some concern with you getting lost. He said "I NEVER GET LOST." I said, in a subdued, calm voice, "Dad, do you remember where I live" (we were driving westbound on Parrish Lane--Centerville at the time). He said, YES. Just take Redwood Road over there (pointing west) right on down to your house.

"I've driven it many times."

O.K. Dad. I'm not trying to be a smart a**, but let's just do an experiment. Why don't you tell me how to drive to my house from here. Give me specific instructions and I will drive according to your directions. Take me to my house.

To make a long story short, we took Legacy Highway (no Redwood Rd there; but, so far so good) southbound towards the I-215 interchange all the way to 3500 South before Dad said, uh, turn around we've gone too far. He told me to head east off 3500 South back to Redwood Road. Then we turned north on Redwood Road at 3500 South and passed 2100 South. He said, o.k., we're getting close. He kept looking for Independence (~1480 North) between California Ave (~1300 South) and Indiana Ave (~900 South)

After turning around about 4 times because we kept missing Independence somewhere hidden between 900 South and 1300 South.....well, you get the picture.

I informed Dad that he was about 10 miles off where he has driven to my house dozens of times. I don't know if I got my point across; but there was no contention about it.

We then went to the cemetery (once I got back on I-215 heading northbound, Dad was able to navigate me there), we went and paid our respects to Gary and Mom.

I then took Dad home.

I went to Harold's a little early today because I needed to be home by 9 AM. I went because I will be gone next week. I talked to him a little bit about Gary and Lena. He knows he made Lena feel bad but doesn't quite get how and why. I tried to tell him that Gary meant everything to Lena and that she misses him terribly. Because of his condition, I don't know if he will remember our conversation but hopefully it hit home. We went to McDonald's and he got 3 sausage mcmuffins instead of two because he doesn't get Meals on Wheels today. We asked him if he wanted to go to Evelyn Barlow's 85th Birthday Party but he declined. He also said he would not be coming to St. George with us in a couple of weeks because his back is bothering him. He did say the High Priest leadership came to see him and will pick him up and take him home each Sunday. That is really good news with winter coming. He also mentioned moving to an Assisted Living Center soon. We better strike while the iron is hot!! Also, Sheryl, I paid his property taxes and left it with a couple of other bills on his desk.

Thanks for understanging.....

Dear family:

I appreciate for your understanding. I was trying to help....
While Gary gave Dad a last ride to church, when he came back home he said he was very dizzy to drive but he still did anyway--he was trying so hard to taking care of dad... So even he is gone I feels like still should do something to dad FOR GARY.

It was the 2nd very bad experience with Dad recently since Gary passed away (1st time was he gave Gary a dress at Larkin). It is hard for me to bear the way he treated my husband so disrespectable. To be honest, that was the way Gary always felt about his Dad who made Gary think he is not good enough to make his dad proud of....

That's why when I know Dad even did not bothered to come by to see Gary at greve site after visit Mom, i want to know how much his son Gary realy means to Harold, that's why I asked how about $10.00 for your son's funeral? Did your son worth $10.00 to you?

When I heard "I don't have any money" I was totally heart broken... I want to tell him, at least, we still pay your cellphone bill every month... I didn't say anything....I was trying to "behive myself" to give Harold the maxium respect I could.

In my eyes Gary was a perfect man! He was too good to be true in my life!.. and I am still feel unbearable of lossing him......

Kathy is right, I may need a little bit longer break, I am assuming... I do understand Dad's illness right now... I shouldn't take his words too serious ... I also know myself even not in the normal emotional status yet.... I lost every thing, couldn't find a lot of thing.... Gary took my mind away with hime...

I am going to grave site every day to see Gary and Mom... I want Mom taking good care of my husband for me, there, ... I put the new flowers for both of them...

Oh, one more thing, I got new position of work-- I am still work at Family history department and do waypoints instead of catelog, and got a new supervisor..which is great!

Sorry I wrote to long.... thanks for giving me longer break... I would still like to take the my&Gary's respocibility of caring of dad... I just need to be more normal first, i think...

Love you and appriciate for all your love and support.

Nov 4th, 2009

I called Dad last night to telling him I will be the one taking care of him tomorrow.
I asked him if he wants to go cemetery tomorrow so we could go different McDonald. He said "No, i done enough time there, I don't want go".
I asked what is the best time to pick you up. He said "9 o'clock ". I said it would be too late for me to go to work after we are done. Then he said Ok, 7:30am.

I wake up this morning by Dad's phone call at 6:20AM ---"I am ready for breakfast!" I told him I did not go to sleep utill 2 AM this morning. He said "So do I! I called Todd at 2:00... "you know the rest of story.

I pick him up at 7:00 am.
When I was parking the car, he bought the food By & For himself.

On the way back to his condo,
I asked him how long ago did he go to cemetery? He said a week ago, with Todd.
I asked him did you see Gary? He said NO. He went there just to see his wife.
(IT HURTS ME SO MUCH!!......)
I asked him "Do you want donate $10 for your son's funeral", he said "I don't have any money!"

After I drop off him, I went to cemetery, crying for my husband......

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

It seems like I spent most of the day with Dad. I took him to McDonalds for breakfast in the morning and then went to get him a haircut. However, he got lost trying to direct me to the barber. However, considering the configuration of the strip mall in conjunction with all the other large stores in the area, it's kind of a maze anyway.

After I dropped Dad off, I returned at 2:40 P.M. to take Dad to Dr. Henderson, his urologist at Lakeview Hospital. Dad and I waited until 4:00 P.M. before Dad was called in. This was a follow up appt. appt. to assess the meds Dad was prescribed with a diagnosis where Dad isn't emptying his bladder when going to the bathroom. At about 4:30 P.M. Dad walked out of the treatment area and said he was ready to go.

As we left, Dad confided in me that the doctor requested a urine sample and then left him hanging in the "secondary waiting room" too long before he lost patience and then left. So, Dad never saw the doctor. (He did provide the urine sample, however.) After Dad told me that, I went back to let the receptionist know that Dad left early (because they had no clue) and Dad didn't actually see the urologist after all. I gave them my number and told them to call me with concerns and issues of follow up. They told me that they couldn't disclose patient information; so I obtained a patient consent form and filled it out and had Dad sign it after we got home. I then returned to Lakeview to give them the consent form; so that they can inform me of further situations.

Happy happy Joy joy.

November 2, 2009

I took Dad to breakfast and to get groceries on Monday. I let Dad know that I will be out of town in Corvalis from Friday through Monday of next week and that I wouldn't be able to get him breakfast on those days. Dad confided in me that his memory loss situation is getting worse. I told him it's a natural part of aging and being honest about it is healthy.

November 4, 2009 (mid-night phone call)

Todd & I received a phone call from Harold at 2:50 this morning. He was sure he had slept for a day and night straight and had missed his doctor's appointment, lunch from Meals on Wheels, etc. He was very upset because this had never happened to him before.

Since the phone's on my side of the bed I talked to him first. I reminded him I'd seen him 8 hours earlier (I said 6 hours but then I was half asleep). He had left his coat and keys in Todd's car after the doctor’s appointment and I dropped them off last night. Todd got on the phone and reminded him about his doctor's appointment, etc. He finally got Harold settled down and convinced he really hadn't slept for 18-24 hours.

Hopefully this isn't the start of a new trend!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Harold seemed to be in a good mood today. I took him to breakfast this morning (Todd was feeling under the weather and I took the day off). We went to McDonalds then I took him to the bank to cash a check.

I asked him about the Condo meeting last night. He said they were going to raise the rates but the meeting wasn't very productive - just a lot of talking back and forth. He told me has was probably going to move in with his daughter, but they just had a flood in their basement so it would be awhile. I didn't know if this was another on his ideas so I changed the subject.

He said he's thinking about asking two ladies out. One is a lady in the complex that gave him a ride home from the Condo meeting Thursday night. The other is the Meals-on-Wheels lady. I told him to go ahead and ask them both out.