Saturday, October 31, 2009

I phoned Dad this morning and said I would come around 10 AM, since I was hung over from our family Halloween Party!? Anyway, he was fine with that. He had eaten a little when I arrived and I fixed him the egg mcmuffin that was in the fridge. He told me for a while how lonely he was and he said he was thinking about getting married again, since he had two conversations with two different women this week. We had a pleasant conversation about his future. I shared with him my concerns about him living alone and gave him some information about Assisted Living Facilities that I had learned. My feelings are he doesn't really want another wife with all her family and their issues, but just needs female friends that he can talk to whenever he wants. I told him to leave money out of the equation and that he really doesn't need to worry about money... in the right Assisted Living Facility somewhere between me and Todd, he could choose to have companionship, solitude, activities, no activities, food, outings, his own furniture in his quarters etc. I assured him we would investigate together, but nothing could happen until after Christmas. Selling his condo would be difficult in this economy. We would probably have to replace the carpet and paint the walls. Anyway, today he was completely on board with the idea. We'll see. I took his hands, looked him the eyes and said, "Dad, you need to trust us, we want to find someplace where you feel happy. We will take care of you!"
We mixed it up a little today and went to Tony's Burger and then to Wal Mart to get some groceries. After we came back to the Condo, he remembered he needed some Milk of Magnesia, so I ran over to Dicks and picked some up.

Last night! October 29, 2009

Dad called us last night all upset. He wanted a ride to a Condo meeting. I told him Den and I were just leaving to give a Halloween Party for a Special Needs Mutual and were unavailable. He ranted and complained for awhile. He threatened to go buy a car and if they raised his condo fee, he wants to move in with me. Yikes! We need to talk everyone.

I will back to track next Wendsay

I will start back to schedule next Wendsay, to taking care of Dad. Thanks for the break offered.

Harold called yesterday AM asking me to come Tuesday rather than Wednesday because his watch was not working. I wasn't able to get up to his house until about 10 AM but Todd picked up breakfast at McDonald's and dropped it off to him. We went to WalMart where they put in a new battery but the watch would not respond. Harold bought an identical Timex for $31.98!!! He had another snack at McDonald's then we went back to his house. I tried to clean out the garage but he didn't want to part with anything. If Lena wants to take Wednesday again, I will move back to Thursday.

Thanks!

I want to say Thanks to everyone of you to taking care of Dad in last 2 weeks for us. I am going to back to work tomorrow, Monday. I hope I could "beehive myself" better at the work.

I will try back on the normal schedule of taking care of Dad next week. I would like to still take either Tuesday or Wednesday for Dad. I don't know your guys scheduled. Wednesday would be great for me.

Please let me know .

Sunday, October 25, 2009

I talked to Dad today on the phone and he is doing well. I took Dad around 2-3 times last week for errands and to McDonalds. Dad has given up on buying a new car; but would like me to drive him around as needed under the stipulation that he will drop me a $20 here and there and will agree not buy another car. So, I think we have a win/win until I find more permanent employment. Dad and I had some good talks last week. Sheryl and I also visited Dad Monday and Friday.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Today was a good day for Harold. Todd & I took Harold out to dinner at Zeponie Pizza (in the complex across the street from his condo). He really seemed to enjoy it! He had a big bowl of salad, some breadsticks and two pieces of pizza. They decorated the place using old record album covers (most were movie soundtracks). He really seemed to enjoy looking at them and reminiscing about old movies. He mentioned he and Joan used to go to movies almost every night after they first were married.

I balanced his checkbook and wrote out checks for a couple of bills that were coming up due.

Harold's doctor's appointment is Tuesday, November 3rd (see post from 10-12-09). I think Todd's planning on taking him.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sorry for the delay getting this posted. Todd did update some things as a comment under Kathryn's Tuesday post.

Todd & I took Harold to dinner at IHOP. Harold started immediately in on the car - he wants Todd to take him to buy one. We tried to reason with him with logic (see Todd's comment) but didn't have much success. Harold also said he was tired of paying the condo fees of $140.00 per month. He doesn't have the money and it doesn't pay for anything. I reminded him it paid for lawn care, snow removal, cable TV, etc. We also pointed out that rent on an apartment would be $800-$1,000 a month. The $140 condo fees are a lot less than that.

Harold mentioned moving in with Grant. As Todd asked questions it came up that this was all Harold's idea not Grant's. Harold had offered to pay him the $140 condo fees and what he was paying for utilities as "rent". He said Grant said he's think about it.

I just got off the phone with Brother Brandt Sharp, Counselor in the Bishopric of the Centerville 19th Ward. He offered the resources of the Ward to help with Harold, including picking him up and taking him home from Church. I invited him to read the blog and share any insights from the Ward Family. His phone number is 801-397-1144.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Dad was in an extremely pleasant mood today. At breakfast (McDonald's), he shed a few tears over the loss of Gary and Mom. Me too! No talk of cars or moving. He grumbled about the police officer at Gary's home again. I changed the subject. We did quite a bit of grocery shopping. He enjoyed talking Marian, the cashier at Wal Mart, she has 9 children and 33 grandchildren. He said, he really enjoyed talking to people his age at which time, I mentioned that's why it would be well for you to visit the Assisted Living Facility. No comment from him.
I threw away a half of bottle sour milk in his fridge, but he should be good for a couple of days. He said he is walking to church tomorrow. I reminded him that Gary did drive him last Sunday. He had forgotten. He mentioned he had a doctor's appointment next week with Dr. Hendersen, his Urologist. (and Garys'!)

Oct 11 2009 Gary's last ride for Dad

Sunday morning, Dad called around 8:00am to remind Gary to give him a ride to church. Gary does give him a ride to the church every Sunday.
Since Gary looks like still so drugged I told him I would go take Dad, but my loving husband just wants me stay in bed longer. He feels sorry make me could not sleep well for couple of days.
Gary told me after back home that dad said he really really appreciate if Gary could give him a ride to the church every Sunday, instead of asking somebody from the ward give him a ride.

It was Gary's last drive on this earth --- he gave it to dad.............. and left car door open--battery died... and he is gone...........

Grant's phone call

Uncle Grant called me this morning and said he had a long conversation with dad. He said he was blunt, but kind. He told him he thought it was time to go to an Assisted Living situation because he has Alzheimer's. (I'm not sure he is to the Alzheimer's stage yet, that was Grant's version) He said, your dad is in complete denial. Dad claims his memory is good. Occasionally he forgets a few things. He told Grant he only had one incident with the car and his kids took the car away. Grant said he was very angry at Grant's suggestion and using profanity. Grant told him he is welcome to come to Texas for a visit, but not to stay permanently.
Dad had a good day yesterday with Dennis. I don't know how it's been with Todd and Sheryl this week. I wish we could figure out the best way to help him feel happy AND be safe! Dad's lonely, but doesn't want to be around a lot of people.
Dr. Lym, last we spoke, said he most likely has a bleeding ulcer, not cancer, if he is taking Excedrin everyday.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I called Harold last night to let him know I would be coming today (Wednesday) rather than Lena. It was a very good day on several levels; 1. No mention of buying a car, 2. No mention of moving to San Antonio to live with Grant, 3. We went to Barnes Bank and paid for the Safe Deposit Box, 4. We found the Safe Deposit Keys in a file in the garage (Kathryn now has the extra key), 5. I took the savings checkbook home with me, 6. We had breakfast at Paradise Cafe instead of McDonald's. We will need to make arrangements for Harold to be picked up for Church since Gary was performing that duty. I don't think Harold has been to Church for awhile. He is in the Centerville 19th Ward. I will post a note when I can contact someone. He knows no one will be coming tomorrow.

Updates on Dad's condition

Todd, Sheryl and Mike have all experienced Dad's extreme irrational behavior the past few days, (threats to buy a new car, moving to Texas etc.) possibly brought on by Gary's passing. Den and I called Uncle Grant this morning and asked him if it was true that he wanted Dad to move in with him and he said no! He told Dad he could come visit, but he couldn't be responsible for caring for him. He said, there is no way he should be driving and he also said he was going to call him and tell him he thinks it's time for him to live in an Assisted Living situation. Grant told him that when he was here, but Dad told him he couldn't afford it. We all know he can. I'm concerned that he is going to get someone else to take him car shopping. I think the prices of the cars will give him sticker shock, but the point is, he doesn't have the eye sight or the mental sharpness to be driving. He even yelled at Grant and told him he was going the wrong way on the way to the cemetery.
I spoke with Dr. Lym yesterday. He told me we need to understand that our Dad, as we know him, is already gone. We are dealing with the disease and it's only going to get worse. Agreeing with Dad on everything he says is usually the best way to keep him calm. However, the car thing is a concern. The moving situation in not even a possibility. Dad won't pay for the moving costs or pack himself. Plus, I don't think he could sell his condo right now, unless he gave it away, which is highly unlikely.
Why don't we all look into Assisted Living Pricing and we will compare in a week or so.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

I spoke with Jolene, our cousin, this morning to see how her visit with dad went on the 8th, while I was out of town. She told me that when her husband Steve heard her talk about it, he volunteered to take Dad to McDonalds. They had a super visit. Steve enjoyed it so much that he said he wants to do it every morning!! That was very kind of Steve and I am sure Dad loved having a new audience to share his stories.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Dad called at 8:00 A.M. telling me he is ready for me to take him to breakfast.

So, Sheryl and I (Sheryl took the day off) talked and we decided to pick up food at McDonalds and took him breakfast at his condo.

Actually the visit went really well. While there, Sheryl spent about 90 minutes reconciling Dad's checkbook. Sheryl has some granular questions for Dennis about autopay--duplications in check numbers. Dad showed us Mom's diary that she wrote at the beginning of their marriage.

Dad has a follow up doctor's appt. on Tuesday, November 3rd at 2:45 P.M. We will handle.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Talked to Dad on the phone this morning and invited him to go to the temple with Sheryl and me. Dad declined; but was hungry; so I took him to McDonalds for breakfast. We went to a different McDonalds to mix things up.

Dad and I talked about mom and he brought me up to speed on the John Goddard story. (I was just curious). He also shared some personal spiritual moments he had earlier in his life.

Dad has expressed some interest in bike riding. He is emphatic that he can. I have mixed feelings. I need to get him a helmet and see if he can still do it. Is there a padded bike trail?Thoughts?

Wednesday 7th Oct 2009

I took Dad for breakfast again this morning. He sounds happy and tell me "I am ready right now" when I called him at 8:20 am. He changed that dirty jacket he had yesterday but the one he is wearing today is still dirty. He said he will wash it.
He also told me that he asked his home teacher out, and she said NO to him in such hurry. Dad said she did not tell him the reason, but he thinks because she thinks he is too old. She is around 50-years-old and never married.

Tuesday 6 Oct 2009

Today is Gary's day but Gary is still drugged by extra pain meds he took last night while I wake up this morning (Gary was so "busy" last night and got the hot bath at 1:00 AM.. to trying find out the way to feel better with his back, poor boy....).

Since he was still snoring when I get up, I decided to take care of dad today, instead of him. As soon as I get in the car at 7:30 am, I called Dad "I will be there in 10 minutes". He said :"I won't be ready within 10 minutes, give me 15 -20". I said fine.

When I arrived the condo I called him "I am here. Just walk out whenever you are ready". He sounds upset at me "I already told you that give me 15-20 minutes!!". I answered: "That's why I am calling you WHENEVER YOU ARE READY! Take your time."

We went to McDonald for breakfast. He does not need anything to buy, then I bought a bag of grapes for him.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Sheryl and I caught up with Dad and took him out to dinner tonight. I had a $25 card for Chilis; so we decided to take him there. On the way there, we passed by the Centerville corporate offices where Dad pointed and said, I have a bill to pay; I need to go there.

I reminded him that he and I did that last week. To save face, he backed off and said that he had received another bill even though he was paid up through November as a result of the last visit. So, he's doing better; but is still struggling with his short term memory.

He also told Sheryl and I that he has nearly decided to purchase a new vehicle. Our response was silence (which I think is best when he makes a statement like that.)

We enjoyed Chilis and then took Dad to Walmart to get some headache meds and dogfood for us. Dad is still blown away by Jeffrey R. Holland's talk (as are we).

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sunday, Dad, Todd and Sheryl came for dinner after the last session of Conference. Gary and Lena couldn't come because Gary was recovering from back surgery on Friday. (I hope this surgery works for you Gary!!) I think Dad enjoyed getting out of his neighborhood for a time. He ate like a champ! He asked if he could see his car, but we told him it wasn't here anymore because it was in the process of being sold. (We learned this morning that it sold for $5500.) He said in the spring he is going to buy a scooter or bicycle to get around. He took enough leftovers home to feed himself for dinner on Monday.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I called Dad Friday afternoon and asked if would be alright if I didn't get there until 10 am Saturday morning, then I would bring him some breakfast in lieu of McDonalds. He was just fine with that option. I made him some homemade Sausage McMuffins and fresh orange juice and wheat bread (to help with his digestive issues a little). He was very pleasant when I arrived. We watched the morning session of Conference together which was amazing, by the way! We sang together and discussed the talks. A few weeks ago, I had found a stack of papers in the closet in his office. It was a journal Mom had kept of the first 18 months of their married life. She often spoke of her sweety Harold. I returned that to dad today and told him to read it. Hopefully, he can focus on that for a while. It was all positive and tender. He told me the cutest story. He said he and mom use to always talk about what they would do when they passed on to next life. Dad said he wants to lead a choir in heaven, and mom wants to do the Can Can dance! OK!
As I was leaving, he did start to rant a little about wanting all his books back that Dennis gave to DI. He asked, "Why would he do that?" I said, "Why else? You told him to." I don't think he believed me. I told him to tell us the books he wants to read, and we will get them for him.
Also, LuAnn came over last night and took Dad to dinner. I thought that was very sweet!

Business items: Sheryl, I put the bills on Dad's desk that Den paid by billpay. Dad gave me the copy title of the car.( without me asking) We have not heard yet if it was sold at the auction.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Dad phoned this morning needing me to take him to Centerville City Hall to pay his utilities bill. He felt that it should be taken care of this a.m. I took him there at 11:15 A.M. and he is now paid up through December. His next bill wasn't due until October 25; but he opted to pay for two months.

Online payment is now available at www.xpressbillpay.com (FYI for Dennis). I took Dad to get some milk. He seemed more "with it" with me today as well.

Sheryl is going to visit Dad tonight to reconcile his checkbook.

Thanks Mike and Kathy for your kind words. Kathy and Dennis, enjoy your vacation.

Today was the best I have seen Harold in two months! He was lucid, clear, happy and his memory was great! He even had his Rx from Dr. Lym in his shirt pocket (this is the one he said he would get on his own about two weeks ago!). We went to Walmart for his usual breakfast and then the Pharmacy. Back at his house we listened to a CD about President David O. Mckay by Truman Madsen. His duplicate car registration has not arrived. Hopefully it will come tomorrow or Saturday so Kathryn can pick it up.